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In a release offering advice to passengers over check in procedures at the airport, it was revealed that, "More than 310,000 passengers are expected to travel through Dublin Airport during the May Bank Holiday – one of the busiest weekends of the year. More than 2,000 flights are due to arrive and depart, including 125 charter flights to destinations such as mainland Spain, the Canary Islands and Turkey."

Dublin Airport issues advice to travellers

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The timple - the traditional five stringed Canarian instrument - could mark its place in history this weekend if the organizers of a project entitled, "Seven islands in five strings" are successful in gathering 1,300 people in the Plaza de la Patrona in Candelaria, Tenerife tomorrow.

The attempt to beat the world record for musical interpretation with the largest number of stringed instruments, will take place this Saturday, April 29 from 15:00 onwards (Yes, if you're anywhere near and can play timple or guitar, they say everyone is welcome.)

Don't expect this to be a concert of traditional Canarian folk music though. The piece of music that has been chosen for the world record attempt is the well-known Serenade in G major, "Pequeña serenata nocturna", or, perhaps better known to us as Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (A Little Night Music), to honour Mozart's 250th Birthday.

Three famous Canarian timple players will be present, Benito Cabrera, José Antonio Ramos and Domingo Rodríguez "El Colorao". Those not familiar with this harp-sounding instrument, can read about and hear the timple, in English, at Benito Cabrera's website.

El timple, al "Guinness" este sábado

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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"Fears are growing for the welfare of hundreds of would-be immigrants known to be aboard a rust bucket which last week attempted several times to cross the invisible line that demarcates Canary territorial from international waters. The captain’s clear intention was to disgorge his human cargo in one of the Canary Islands." report Tenerife News.

It seems that we have these boats arriving in the Canary Islands more frequently than ferries, so I do wish Tenerife News dated their news items so that I could distinguish which influx it belonged to, but this one is potentially worrying for other reasons.

The Spanish Armada (yes, that really is the word for Navy) were out in force, "after it was revealed that the Spanish authorities had been advised by British intelligence services that among the illegals on board there were thought to be a number of Islamic terrorists of Pakistani origin." MI-5 had been closely monitoring the boat.

Where are the boat people?

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Jaunted blog asks, "Are there plans afoot to make flying even more miserable than it already is? Beyond whatever nickel and dime policies carriers are toying with these days, a new concept for airlines could be headed to an Airbus near you: Standing room only seats, first reported in the New York Times. Passengers would be secured to a padded backboard with a harness like wearing a backpack; Airbus is pushing hard for this configuration on their new A380."

Now, OK, they are talking about the situation in the United States, but the fact is that the Airbus A380 is a European kit-built job, with parts being made in Britain, France and Germany and some further bits and bobs coming from Spain.

In fact, a friend of a friend works on the wings. When he told me they were making a double-decker plane, I asked if it would be painted red like the London busses. :)

Just my opinion, but the almost four hour flights from the UK to Tenerife are worse than seven hour transatlantic flights, because they use tourist class "sardine seating" already. A two hour flight to Spain and you can just put up with it. A long-haul flight does give you some chance to get fed twice to relieve boredom, get up and move around, etc.

The writers at Jaunted say, "Given the choice between hideously cramped seats and standing, we choose standing. Is it any worse than taking the subway?"

Well, from that I suspect they are of the "fit and well under 40" persuasion. Since I am neither, I would truly hate to see this kind of thing being used on our routes. Worse, since there are a lot of OAPs who make the trip regularly from the UK to the Canary Islands, what about them. Could they stand for 4 hours? What about people with medical conditions? I mean, non life-threatening, muscular types that make standing difficult.

This would be absolute torture in my opinion. What do you think?

Stand Up for Your Rights Via: Jaunted

Related:
A380 makes massive debut
Airbus A380 Makes First Long-Haul Flight

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Ogle Earth, a blog about Google Earth, alerted me to the fact that various new European Google maps sites, including maps.google.es are now officially live.

Hummm ... Well, if you go to the front page of the site for Spain, the first thing, glaringly conspicuous by it's absence is any mention of Tenerife or the Canary Islands, at all.

It seems that we do not exist. We're a figment of our own imagination or a legend in our own lunchtime, or something. They have the Balearic islands. They don't even include the Canaries, which are too far south to be in the shot, in an inset, as is the usual case.

Nevertheless, if you type "Tenerife" into the search box, the Canary Islands map appears. And, if you type in "buenavista del norte" (without quotes), you will zoom straight to the top left-hand corner of Tenerife to Buenavista del Norte and, even El Palmar is shown.

One can't then help oneself from doing silly things like using the "Cómo Llegar" (How to get here) function. For no reason at all, I decided my imaginary traveller would start in Manchester, England. What I really wanted to do was to trip Google up and see if it would insist on folk getting their feet wet coming to an island, but it coped quite admirably.

After coming down the M6/M1/M20, it takes you to the Dover Channel Tunnel. Then, after a route which avoids the Paris traffic, by diverting around Nantes and Bordeaux to Burgos in Spain, continues via Madrid, Seville and onwards to the Cadiz Ferry.

The only bit I couldn't follow was the last part in Santa Cruz, which does suggest at one point continuing on the Calle Peatonal Pitera. Hopefully, you would be on foot, because I reckon peatonal means pedestrian street. But, if you were walking, I think this journey might just take you a little longer than the 2 days 19 hours that Google estimate. :)

Google's function also did good on a journey from Santa Cruz to Buenavista del Norte, at least it used the available roads. I remember I tried this once at MSN and their map chose a direct route NORTH of Puerto de la Cruz. In other words across the sea.

What's the photo? It's a section of the TF-436 as it passes through the El Palmar valley. Heck, I've only been here seven years, but it wasn't until I looked at the Google map today that I found out what number the main road is passing just below my house. :)

Google Maps for Spain (In Spanish) Via: Ogle Earth

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Kreutz defends Tenerife Ladies Open at Abama
The Ladies European Tour season gets into full swing this week with the €242,000 Tenerife Ladies Open at the spectacular Abama Golf Resort from April 27-30, where Frenchwoman Ludivine Kreutz defends the title against yet another high class field in the Canary Islands.

El Médano fights back
An announcement made by the Ministry of the Environment has put the thirty members of staff at the Médano Hotel at El Médano, and most of the local citizens in a state of nerves. The Ministry said it has every intention of demolishing the hotel, a famous landmark of this southern seaside resort since 1963.

Tenerife train scheme steams ahead
The Santa Cruz-La Laguna tram might not yet be a functioning reality, but already the authorities are looking ahead to a Tenerife train which will link Santa Cruz with Tenerife-Sur airport in 30 minutes and Playa de las Américas in 45 minutes.

Tenerife port triggers protest avalanche in Brussels
Lobbying doesn’t get any better than this! The European ombudsman has announced his office has received well over 5,000 complaints about plans to build a megaport on the south coast of Tenerife, in Granadilla.

Cruise liner set to visit
Black Prince, a frequent visitor to Inverclyde started the cruise season when it docked in Greenock on Monday. The ship, which carries 420 holidaymakers, was starting a cruise to the Canary Islands, including visits to Lisbon, Gran Canaria and Madeira.

New 24 hour Medical Centre in Puerto Santiago
The new medical centre on Avenida Maritima was inaugurated on April 7. Services offered at this new centre include paediatrics, gynaecology, physiotherapy, cardiology and cardiovascular, and dentistry. With these services the private medical centre, which is linked to the Hospital Costa Adeje, will solve some of the medical shortages in the area.

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Looking for somewhere to rent, an inexpensive item or even a date in Tenerife? Want to offload your old junk? It may be treasure to someone else. Classified ads, specifically for Tenerife and in English at Loquo.

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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It's all to do with innovation in cultivation and finding new - and profitable - crops to grow. For which the Tenerife Island Corporation is carrying out tests on 14 different species of lettuce in the area of Santa Bárbara, in Icod de los Viños, to see how well they behave themselves. The aim is select those which prove most suitable and to give growers new alternatives for production.

El Cabildo realiza un ensayo de diferentes variedades de lechuga para estudiar sus posibilidades

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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The ferry between Los Cristianos in the south of Tenerife and the port of San Sebastian, on the neighbouring island of La Gomera, takes around 90 minutes. It is possible to improve on that time, bringing it down to 40 minutes, by taking the fast ferry.

But there is an even faster way, as these pilots, Ramón Morillas, César Maldonado and Francisco Renedo, from the Draco team proved, by paramotoring across the Atlantic ocean in a mere 25 minutes, reaching speeds of 84 kmph and with a 40 kmph north wind.

The trio took off from Los Realejos in the north of Tenerife and made the crossing to La Gomera, passing over the districts of Agulo and Hermigua, landing on the beach. During the last few kilometers they were joined by paragliders from the club, Izaña, who took off from the mirador de Abrantes, in Agulo, to perform acrobatics, landing in unison.

Ramón Morillas is three times world champion in paramotoring (2002, 2003 and 2004), while César Maldonado is the world number two in the same speciality and Francisco Renedo is the world team champion. The first Paraglide Crossing from Tenerife to La Gomera will be the spectacular opening event of the II International Paragliding Festival, taking place in Los Realejos between April 27th and 1st May 2006.

El equipo Draco completa la primera travesía a La Gomera

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Spanish Airports' Authority, AENA, have announced that as from the end of May, the airport of Los Rodeos in the north of Tenerife will remain open until midnight - an hour later than its current closing time of 23:00 - during which planes will be allowed to land.

AENA took the decision after carrying out a study on the regional airports. The report also says that this has been requested by both passengers and operators for a long time, given that it is very common for the last flights of the day from Barajas (Madrid) to be diverted to the Reina Sofia airport in the south, because they have missed the deadline through delays. I'll bet residents local to Los Rodeos have a different opinion on the matter.

AENA decidirá a finales de mayo si abre Los Rodeos hasta medianoche

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Last Saturday, in Teno Alto, Buenavista del Norte town hall and the Federación de Salto del Pastor Canario (literally, Canarian Federation of the Shepherds Leap), paid homage to Francisco González Regalado and his wife María del Rosario, inhabitants of the small hamlet (of approx. 100 people), who are some of the very few people left in the area, dedicated to keeping and grazing their flocks of goats in the Teno mountains and who also practice the sport of Salto del Pastor, "the Shepherd’s Leap".

It is a pity there was no photo with the report, because it is most likely that I know these people - at least on nodding terms - because it is hard not to know everyone around here and, because they are certain to be participants in the annual San Antonio rural fiesta in Buenavista del Norte, in January each year. My photo shows a flock that had come down from Teno Alto for that event. It could even be of the aforementioned people.

The Salto de Pastor started as a genuine means for shepherds to negotiate the difficult and steep terrain around the islands and those who still keep goats in those areas do still use it as such. However, like the Canary Islands Stick Fighting (which always reminds me of Robin Hood and Little John), the Shepherd's Leap has also been developed into a sport that you are likely to see at various folk gatherings and fiestas. "The Canarian palo (stick) is associated with three interrelated functions – self defense, animal herding, and traveling across difficult terrain. The latter function has developed into the spectacular folk sport of Salto del Pastor, "the Shepherd’s Leap", which features a form of pole-vaulting down rocky precipices and across ravines." Go here for more explanation and photos.

You can even take a course to become a Leaping Shepherd if you feel so inclined, see Curso de Salto del Pastor Canario, which page also has a couple of nice images.

Homenaje a Francisco González y María del Rosario, últimos cabreros de Teno en Buenavista

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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The millionaire brother of Gary Lineker, the celebrated former England footballer, has been jailed for two-and-a-half years for a £220,000 tax fraud and faces a further 24 months if he failed to pay a £90,000 confiscation order. Wayne Lineker, 43, moved to Tenerife in 1988 and, with his brother's blessing, decided to cash in on the name of the striker. Shortly afterwards, he opened the World Famous Lineker's Bar in Playa de las Americas, Tenerife.

Gary Lineker's brother jailed for cash smuggling

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Canary Wharf Tower Development., London, EnglandYesterday's picture of the day, Canaries for Sale, of domestic canaries, provoked a comment from Jez, who said "I was under the impression that the "Canary" part of the Canary Islands was a reference to Canines - dogs, not birds."

And he's quite right.

Accepted history is, indeed, that the Canary Islands are named after the dogs, while the birds are named after the Canary Islands. However, as I've mentioned on these pages before and am bound to say again (and again), I have not yet found and, I am sure I never will find, any topic related to the history of these islands where there is one, singular version that can be proven, beyond all reasonable doubt.

What do you expect from the Fortunate Isles, The Garden of the Hesperides and / or Atlantis - depending which is your favorite myth or legend to attach to these islands. None of which can be proven, of course, but then again they can't exactly be disproven either.

Dogs have been important in the Canary Islands in all known history, going right back to the ancient, guanche, inhabitants. Archaeological excavations in several burial caves in Tenerife have shown that the dog was buried with his master, so it could "guide the soul to the region of the dead".

When the the Mauritanian King Juba II, sent a marine expedition to the islands, between 30 and 25 BC, the discovery was described by Pliny, who wrote that the Canaries received this name "for their dogs, two of which were sent to Juba".

Apparently, "Juba was very happy with his strong and intelligent dogs and when he marked the island on his map he called it the "Island of Dogs". He wrote the name on his map in Latin, "canes". (Mauritania was then part of the Roman Empire.) He probably only meant, "Look that's where my puppies came from" or, "Go here if you want a free hunting dog". :)

Because, this report tells us, "Regardless of what Plinius wrote, the fact is that the island called today Gran Canaria, was inhabited by a tribe who called themselves the "canarii". They are said to have had North African, Berber origins.

People started to call all islands "the Islands of Canaria", from which they were later called "Canary Islands". Again, here we are told that the name derives probably from a north African tribe (the Canarii) or possibly the Latin term Insularia Canaria meaning Island of the Dogs. Take your pick!

There is also a further opinion - from Historian, José Juan Jiménez, of the Museo de la Naturaleza y el Hombre (Museum of Nature and Man) in Tenerife - that Pliny screwed up his translation and that the Canaries, in reality, owe their name to the "cannis marinus", a species of large monk seal that populated the coasts until the 15th Century.

Although the seals disappeared and the aboriginal people were wiped out, mainly through a mixture of disease and intermarriage, the dogs have remained "man's best friend".

Today's Perro de Presa Canario is originally from the Canary Islands in the 1800s, but may or may not bear any resemblance whatsoever to the original dogs of the islands.

"Its exact ancestry is unknown, but enthusiasts believe that an already established farm dog from the Canary Islands by the name of Majero bardino majorero was crossed with the Mastiffs and Old-Style Bulldogs that were brought from Europe to the Islands."

That many of those "imports" came from Britain, "The British character with their traditions to the fighting of dogs also arrived to the islands.", it should be no surprise that the fancy has gone full circle with renewed popularity among the criminal classes in the UK.

The Origin of the Presa Canario tells us that, "A few years following the conclusion of the conquest of the Canary Archipelago, reference is made in the Documents of the Municipal Council of Tenerife to their agreement of February 5, 1526, that in view of the damages produced by dogs to livestock, both small and large, the extermination of the same is ordered."

Presuming those were native wild dogs and that the order was carried out, it is doubtful much of the genetics of the original dog exists, if any.

Gran Canaria's Tourist Board sum it up best in, Mysteries of the Canary Island Dog:

"The origins of the Presa Canario are as old as the legends of the Jardines Hespérides (The Garden of the Hesperides). Many stories have been told about the dogs from the Canary Islands which confuse reality and fiction and experts and historians often contradict each other when talking about the characteristics of the native dog or the role which they played in the Conquest."

Nowadays, following a recovery that began in the 1970's, modern Canary Dogs have fanciers all over the world. Having a possible bit of one (a mix - compare my mutt with this specimen), I can certainly understand why. Bright, dependable and very, very strong. I've never put her to these kinds of weight pulling tests, but she's helped pull my weight up many a hill before now! :)

Because of links to a previous post about the disappearance of the dog symbol, I discovered two more websites devoted to these dogs, ElPresa.com - just Presa Canario and The Dogo Canario Club of America. For more information on the breed, see also, Presa Canario Canary Dogs and Canary Dog (Perro de Presa Canario).

From all this, it is easy to see why the dogs became adopted as a symbol of the islands, even, currently, being included on the islands' coat of arms (although not until the 1770's, first described by José de Viera y Clavijo), for their strength and versatility - not unlike the aboriginal inhabitants, which, assuming the Berber origins are correct, imagine a whole population of Zinédine Zidane's - and, by extension, became the protagonists in the accepted version of the history of the naming of the islands, whatever the facts.

We do definitely know from several references (well, maybe) that the native wild canary birds were named after the islands. The canary, common name for a familiar cage bird of the family Ploceidae (Old World finch family), descended from either the wild serin finch or from the very similar wild canary, Serinus canarius, of the Canary Islands, Madeira, and the Azores and introduced into Europe in the late 15th or early 16th Century.

On the other hand, it is still a bit "chicken and egg", because, a little too coincidentally, the Latin verb "canere" means to sing. So were the birds named after the islands, or because they can sing, or were the islands named because the singing birds abound?

So, what has all that to do with a picture of London's Canary Wharf?

"Canary Wharf itself takes its name from the sea trade with the Canary Islands, whose name comes from the dogs (Latin canis) which the Spaniards found there, producing the linguistic coincidence of trade between the Dog Islands and the Isle of Dogs." However, just to add yet more uncertainty, another explanation for the latter denomination could be the rumour that the docklands was once the site of King Henry VIII's hunting kennels.

Nevertheless, exotic products from these islands had been unloaded on the site of the now One Canada Square or Canary Wharf Tower. A trade which began in the 16th Century when English pirates merchants had been carrying that famous Malmsey (Malvasia) wine known as Canary that was popular in England - back from the old port of Garachico.

Was architect, Cesar Pelli, thinking of Spain's tallest mountain; Tenerife's Mount Teide, in the Canary Islands or perhaps the Guimar Pyramids when he designed Britain's tallest building; the 235 metres (771 ft) and 50 story pyramid-topped building, I wonder?

Like the rest, these are questions which will probably never be answered.

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Police on Sunday found 111 would-be immigrants packed aboard two fishing boats just off the coast of two of Spain's Canary Islands, authorities said. A police spokesman said 80 immigrants arrived on Spain's Canary Island of Gomera, and another 31 were detained earlier Sunday after they arrived by boat on nearby Tenerife island, off north-west Africa.

111 would-be immigrants off the coast of Canary Islands

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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"The Ladies European Tour season gets under way with the Tenerife Ladies Open at the Abama Golf Resort from 27 April. France's Ludivine Kreutz defends her title against a high-class field which includes Italy's 2004 winner Diana Luna and in-form Welsh star Becky Brewerton. Kreutz took her second Ladies European Tour title in Tenerife last year with a two-shot win over German Miriam Nagl.", report the BBC.

Ladies Euro Tour set for action

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias
From: Secret Tenerife Blog | Tenerife Daily Photo

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Well, we knew that, didn't we? :) However, Katherine Derbyshire in the Mirror.co.uk seems pleasantly surprised to discover, "Far from the horrors of Guinness pubs and Sky Sports, I was astonished to find a historic, volcanic and botanical paradise full of real-life Spanish-speaking inhabitants. No, really." She even gets as far as Garachico and concludes, "For an island with such an almighty reputation for drunken English package tours, I was amazed at how rural, friendly and beautiful the north of Tenerife actually is."

Even though the island is small, it isn't always easy to completely orientate oneself with the map, the less so if one is a temporary visitor and, to be fair, I haven't found an article yet that doesn't have at least one discrepancy. Therefore, I will just point out that Taganana has no beach. Taganana is a village in the Anaga mountains - those in the narrow, north east tip of Tenerife above Santa Cruz - and after you've visited it and go on to the coast, the area with the rocks, black beaches and superb fish restaurants is Playa El Roque.

Also, I have good news for Katherine (or yourself on your next trip). You can now find out in advance whether the cable car on Mount Teide will be open or not. Yes, it used to be the case that you had to go there to find out and, if there was any wind, it would be closed. Nowadays, you can consult their website for this information, prior to setting off.

A High Old Time

Tags: Tenerife, Canary Islands, Canarias

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All the local press led with the story today that the most expensive cities in Spain for the typical grocery shopping basket, are in the Canary Islands. Well, hey, we lead in something and the saving grace for us here in Tenerife is that Gran Canaria has prices notably higher than ours even.

Both Canary Islands capitals, Santa Cruz in Tenerife and Las Palmas in Gran Canaria, have amongst the most expensive prices in the country, according to figures released by the Organization of Consumers and Users (OCU) yesterday.

The OCU study analysed 86,000 prices in 789 establishments (supermarkets, hypermarkets, discount stores and 9 online stores) in 53 Spanish cities.

Two types of basket were analysed; one with branded goods, the other economy brands.

The Canary Islands headed the price charts in both kinds of basket. In Gran Canaria, the branded goods cost 10% more than in the lowest priced city in Spain, while in Tenerife the cost was 7% higher. Canary Island consumers pay the highest prices in the country for meat, fish, fruit and packaged foods, while household cleaning products are the cheapest.

However, it is in the discount basket where there is a wider margin. In Gran Canaria, consumers pay 39% more than the people in the cheapest city, Ciudad Real, while the shopper in Tenerife pays 33%, almost a third more. In Santa Cruz, the brand name basket was cheapest in Alcampo, whilst it was most expensive in El Corte Inglés.

The OCU had no doubts why the Canary Islands featured at the top of these lists: lack of competition and the lack of deep discounts stores which are excluded from the region by legal restrictions, imposed by the Canary Islands government. The OCU spokesman says that the traditional stores have nothing to fear from the discount houses, "if they get their finger out", as "they have other weapons and attractions with which to fight."

Diario de Avisos, El Dia, Canarias7, CanariasAhora, La Opinion and ABC

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Tenerife born world class surfer Jonathan Gonzalez will have the official support of Tenerife Cabildo behind him throughout the 2006 international surfing season. This will be Jonathan’s eighth season on the European surfing circuit and his sixth as one of the world’s 44 best surfers. Tube specialist Jonathan’s 2006 calendar includes events in Brazil, Asturias, California, France, Hawaii, Mexico, Lanzarote, Tenerife, United States and South Africa for which he also has the support of his home town Santiago del Teide.

Jonathan’s on the crest of the wave!

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Something I guessed was likely on the way: "The Isla Baja area of the island is becoming less of a secret hidden treasure as more and more tourists are being enticed to visit its attractive scenery and tranquillity away from the crowds. In fact so great is the popularity of the area that the tourist department of the Cabildo has just granted permission for the construction of a five star hotel on the Buenavista Golf course."

Green light for Golf Hotel at Buenavista

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The Spanish Institute of Oceanology has announced plans to issue the schools of Tenerife with full colour “maps” of the waters around the Archipelago to be used as teaching materials. The maps which will be virtually self explanatory will include detailed panoramic views of the underwater landscape as well as images of the local fish and marine animals. Tenerife Cabildo has also been carrying out an in depth study of the sharks, shrimps and crabs living off the Tenerife coasts.

Studying the depths

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The Guardian reports that Wayne Lineker, who opened the first World Famous Lineker's Bar in Playas de las Americas, Tenerife, in 1988, appeared at Southwark crown court yesterday facing jail for his part in a £220,000 tax fraud plot. The money came from the string of sporting theme bars he launched in Spain and Portugal bearing the family name and focusing on his brother's achievements. The bars showcased Gary's commemorative England caps, shirts and boots. They even had areas called Gary's Corner.

Gary Lineker's brother faces jail over tax fraud plot

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There was a humorous comment on the TV about this which said that €500 notes are a bit like Bin Laden. Everyone's heard of them, but nobody has ever seen one. And, in truth, I have never had one in my possession, though my friend at the bank did show me one once.

So it comes as a bit of a surprise to us normal, poor folk in Spain to discover that 25% of these high-value notes that have been issued by the central bank of Europe are in this country. There are, in fact, more notes of €500 in Spain than there are of €5.

Well, maybe that last fact isn't so inexplicable.

A €5 note is worth less than £3.50 and there ain't much one can do with that these days. Generally, when one breaks a €10 for anything, you only have shrapnel (coins) left!

Nevertheless, the number and value of €500 notes - 100 million of them, valued at 50,000 million Euros - is so excessive that it "does not correspond" with the size of the Spanish economy and has set off alarm bells with the tax man, who has opened an investigation.

The implication is, of course, that these notes are circulating underground on the black market and that behind this is an increment in money laundering.

What money laundering in Spain or the Canary Islands? No, surely, they jest? :)

Alarmante circulación de billetes de 500 euros en España. La corrupción, las comisiones y el lavado de dinero negro las más que posibles responsables

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Everyone dreams of a win – a really big win – on the loto and for most of us that is just what it remains – a dream. But one Puerto de la Cruz resident got lucky at the end of March and is now living that dream. Mohatar Mohammed Mimun, Mota to his friends, is now the fortunate possessor of a fortune of exactly €3,111,448 and 32 cents. And to get it he spent just two euros on a Lotería Primitiva ticket, purchased in the Plaza del Charco lottery office.

Mota’s millions - Puerto family rise to riches thanks to loto jackpot

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Prepare your sides for a real severe splitting! Honestly, I have not laughed as loudly, or as much in ages, as I have at these two wonderfully screwed up translations.

How the hell the unsuspecting English speaking visitor is supposed to cope, is another matter entirely. Actually, now I know why British visitors stick to familiar English Breakfasts, Sunday Roasts, McDonalds and such, so prolific in the resorts. They obviously don't want to - literally - risk their lives with the local food!

The first example is a homemade desert menu (and the deserts), from a restaurant on the south of Gran Canaria, whose identity has been obscured to protect the guilty.

Miguel at Canarias Bruta comments that "He who has translated this menu into other languages (without doubt, someone called Babelfish, Systran or similar) ought to get the Nobel prize for literature for such great work." And continues, "I am going to order the Brochette of Fruits. It ought to have an explosive flavour." You bet it will!

See the post here and the full version of the menu image here

Oh, for those who don't know, where it says "yogourt of fragmentation hand grenade", it is actually trying and, obviously, failing utterly miserably, to say "pineapple yoghurt". :)

No, please, don't ask me how even a automated translation robot (even if it's on speed or acid) can make that connection! Personally, I'm not sure I really want to eat "Arm of Gypsy", either, but at least that is a literal translation of the Spanish original. Of the six items listed on that menu, not one of the English translations gets it completely correct.

But, wait, there is more ... Bandage the fragmentation hand grenade

Once you've risked eating the aforementioned hand grenade, it is pretty likely that you will want a bandage and the intrepid Canary Island traveller need go no further than the Lagartario de la Montaña de Arucas (Lizard zoo in Arucas), also Gran Canaria.

This time, they suggest - and I am going to translate it because you will not work it out from the English at all - that, "If you want to see the lizards in action, throw them a tomato."

Fair enough, so far? The next bit is what gets totally mangled, from "vendemos" (we sell) into bandage, which would have been "venda" in Spanish. What they really mean is that "if you don't have a tomato, we sell them in the restaurant." Perhaps, on the other hand, if you don't have a tomato, the lizard will bite you and you'll need first aid! :)

In all fairness to my neighbours, translations, it has to be said, are no better in Tenerife. I've had my rant previously about the Sweets of Canary and other Dodgy Translations. And, as I have said before and the above proves, menus everywhere contain similar examples of non-edible things to the point that I have given up on trying to translate their English.

Labels: Translation Hooters

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And about time too, in my opinion. Really, it has to be said that those Britons who see fit to come to this island and behave like savages, spoil the image for so many visitors who might have come. The negative press makes potential visitors think that is all that goes on here, whilst such behavior causes some locals to think that all British people are louts and again, treat the rest of us with utter contempt and at times, downright racism.

Jaunted report, "The British government would now like to start enforcing a law on the books that will allow embassies to charge £84.50 ($151) an hour for their help -- in particular when it's the drunk Brits themselves that were at fault."

Let's hope they do and that it will make a few people think twice.

British Government to Charge Citizens for Vomiting Abroad

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If you are one of those adventurous types who likes real thrills, then you will want to be in the north of Tenerife, between April 27th and 1st May 2006, for the II International Paragliding Festival, organized by the The Town Council of the Historic Village of Los Realejos and the Canary Federation of Aerial Sport (FECDA).

They say, "Due to the great success achieved in the 2005 edition, when we brought together more than 150 pilots, over 60 co-pilots, 29 exhibitors and 72 accredited journalists, this second meeting will be likely to turn into one of the greatest shows and most well–known aerial festivals."

II International Paragliding Festival in Tenerife Via PuntoInfo

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PuntoInfo, the Tenerife Island Corporation's own Tenerife tourist information site has a small, but pleasing, selection of online postcards of Tenerife you can send to your family and friends. (Actually, so do we and we have more of them than they do.)

On the other hand, they do have something we don't and probably never will (balls, probably :), in this image, which is the first (numbered #2 in typical Irish wisdom), that is of the Punta de Teno - that is the far left bit of this end of Tenerife - taken from Teno Alto. Getting to the point from where this shot was taken would be too much of a vertigo inducing trek for me, so enjoy their view!

Postcards of Tenerife

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It is, of course, impossible that anywhere is all "sunshine and smiles" and, in this, the Canary Islands are no different from anywhere else. Something that, as visitors, you would be unlikely to be aware, however, is the true level of poverty of the hard working people who keep your hotel rooms clean, serve your food and otherwise pamper you on your stay.

Prensa Alternativa in this post on ¿Salario Social en Canarias? point out that, according to official statistics, more than 20% of the Canary Islands population lives below the poverty line, which is to say, have to live on less than half of the average salary.

Almost 400,000 people are in this situation. Also, even though employment has risen, it is characterized by seasonal work, precariousness (that is, with short-term contracts that do not allow workers to plan their futures) and low salaries. Many employees can be considered poor, because they do not earn any more than the minimum salary.

Spain has a minimum salary fixed by law, which according to the latest figures I could find, for 2005, was 17.10 Euros (roughly £11.40) per day or 513 Euros (approximately £342) per month. Workers with temporary contracts do have to be paid extras, which brings the daily figure up to 24.29 Euros (around £16) per day. Workers paid hourly, such as domestic cleaners, have their rate fixed at a minimum of 4.01 Euros (£2.60) per hour.

However, whilst the concept of minimum salary seems like a good idea on the surface, one of the frequent "abuses" of this system - and I have had employers play this game of words with me - is that they twist "the minimum we have to pay by law" into "exactly