Monday, November 02, 2009

Licence to Mount Teide

Frankly, we're not sure if this is some sort of kinky "mountain husbandry" job or a permit to ride a racehorse called Teide, but the (purportedly) English version on this notice says:

"It is necessary to bring, an Applicant's photocopy of ID card or passport to obtain a licence to Mount Teide."

OK, it's fairly clear (as mud, maybe?) that what they think they mean is that you have to take a copy of your ID to obtain a permit to climb the mountain, Mount Teide. Or, at least, you need this permit if you wish to pass the armed guards at the top of the cable car, in order to climb the last 400 meters or so.

And you have to go to Santa Cruz to get this (or by post, email or fax, with a week's notice), clearly dealing with people who have no idea that Google's (or whatever automated tool was used) translation is left sadly lacking.

That seems to preclude English speakers from obtaining one - heaven forbid that someone not speaking Spanish should want to visit - unless they're just damn lucky they got the whole application process right: a lottery.

It really does seem absurd to have to jump through this many hoops in order to visit a "tourist attraction". On the other hand, the process does deter and keep the riff-raff off the part of this natural wonder that would suffer most, so maybe it's not such a bad thing.

We should point out that this permit is not required if all you want to do is the "averagely touristy" thing: to go up the mountain as far as the cable car goes - for that you'll only have to suffer the several hour wait at the bottom.

Please note that when I say "averagely touristy", I certainly don't mean that in a derogatory sense, just that it is available to any passing visitor. The trip is still a life-altering, breathtaking, amazing experience that I've done and thoroughly recommend. Have a taste via this 360 degree panorama taken from the upper cable-car station, or experience the ascent via the video below.

If you're energetic and want to learn about climbing Teide on foot, then read Andrea Montgomery's account here and this page will give you details of where you need to go to, should you actually want to obtain a "licence to Mount Teide."

Notwithstanding the absurdities of Tenerife bureaucracy, this is, or course, yet another absolutely bloody typical example of the utterly laughable standard of "official" translations on the island. They are perfectly amusing to those of us who can work out what is really meant. Even if, alright maybe especially if, you know anything about Tenerife bureaucracy, you might still wonder if this is a licence to take photos of the mountain or a permit to take it away, but to a passing tourist, these linguistic cock-ups lead to frustration or even dangerous ambiguities.

What do you think: are these translations amusing entertainment, or are they harmful to the island's image in the 21st Century and to tourists' well-being?

Speaking of absurdities, if you're a big fan of Tenerife's 3,718 meter volcano and you have a few grey hairs you'd like to disguise, then with the aid of Naturtint, you too can now turn your locks a shade called Teide Brown. No, really. We can see where they got their influences, but I guess "potato field on Teide's slopes brown" was nowhere near as exotic sounding! smile_nerd